My First SE Session!

My Previous Therapeutic Experience

Today is my first SE session with Sherri! It is definitely different than most therapy I’ve tried to treat my depression. Her office was beautiful and well-appointed and it even had a plant! Sherri greets me with a warm smile and friendly disposition. I just feel like I am making the right choice by giving SE a try the moment I walk into her office. So, she starts the session by explaining SE to me. She says that this form of therapy’s goal is to help regulate and restore balance to my nervous system. It is to help me feel more alive. She explains that there is nothing wrong with me and that the nervous system is just using its built in techniques to deal with stress. Immediately, I feel better because I’ve thought there is something wrong with me for years! 

Hoberman's Sphere

She shows me how the nervous system expands and contracts with a Hoberman’s Sphere. In our systems there is a natural state of fluctuation and she says that we are going to do some work to assist my nervous system in having more flexibility. I am excited at the thought of working with my nervous system to support it in having more resilience to the stressors of life. I’ll give anything a try at this point!

Sherri tells me about a couple new concepts, such as orienting and tracking. She says that since the eyes are closely related to the autonomic nervous system that we will use looking around the room as a means to allow the body to settle and to access that part of my system. She also explains how we are going to track the emotions and more specifically the sensations in my body. She says that she is going to ask me about those sensations. I tell her that I don’t really get what she means by sensations. Then, as a demonstration, she asks me to touch the carpet and I tell her that it feels smooth and soft. She says that sensations are similar to that in the body. She asks me to then focus on my stomach and report what I could sense. Now, I’ve never done this before, but when I turn my attention to my stomach, I tell her that it feels tight and that there is some pressure there. I guess I can feel sensations in my body!

  

As time passes I start to feel more relaxed and then she asks me if I am ready to begin. I say “Yes! Let’s start.” She is sitting in a chair in front of me and she asks me to just take a moment to look around her office and asks me if there is anything in particular that draws my attention. She let me know it is ok to let my eyes go where they want. As I look around her office, I can feel my body calming down even more. My eyes seem to fall on the beautiful blue color of a painting that she has on the wall. She asks me what I see and I tell her what I am looking at. She then asks if I can notice any sensations in my body. I tell her that I can feel a tingling in my chest. She asks if I can just be with that for a little bit and see what happens next. As I do my best to be present with the sensation, I start to have thoughts and images arise. She asks me what I notice and I tell her that I am thinking about my sister and there is a memory of a game that we use to play. She told me to just stay with that and allow whatever comes up to come up. As I do this, I feel some sadness start to arise and she asks me to describe the sensations in my body. I tell her that I can feel lightness in my upper chest and that the sadness seems to be more like joy or the feeling of being touched. She asks if I can just be with that and continue to notice the sensations.

As the session continues, I have a memory come up of how a kid was mean to me during recess and pulled my hair. Immediately anger, sadness, and fear starts to come up. She asks me if I could tell a difference between the emotions in my body. Amazingly, when I really focus in my body, I could tell that there is a difference between all those emotions in my body. She asks which one I would like to focus on and I tell her the fear. So, I let my body tremble and shake. After a little bit it starts to become intense. At the point where I don’t think I can handle it anymore, Sherri asks me if I can feel my feet and she directs me to look around the room to see if I can notice the blue color on the painting. As I look at the blue in the painting, I start to calm down and feel that love with my sister again. She asks if I could just be with those sensations. Once again, I had fear, anger and sadness come up out of the blue. She asks if she could put her feet next to mine. Wow, I wouldn’t have guessed that someone’s feet next to mine would be so comforting when I am upset. As she puts her feet next to mine, she asks if the fear, anger, or sadness wants to say something. I tell her that it wants to say “I hate you for pulling my hair.” She asks me to say it again and as I do I feel a sense of empowerment. I do not think I have ever said “I hate you” out loud, ever! 

I feel accepted and embraced by Sherri

I feel so accepted by Sherri, as if it is ok for me to express and feel those emotions. She asks me if the feeling of empowerment has any sensations and it did, so I begin to focus on those. I start to feel more relaxed and I even burped. Ooops. She said that is nothing to worry about and it is normal in this process. She asks me to look around the room again and to feel my body being supported by the chair. She asks how I am feeling and to be honest I am enjoying the good sensations in my body. I haven’t felt those in a long time!  

As the session draws to a close she gives me some SE homework and asks me to orient to pleasure. She explains that when I feel those good sensations in the body to allow myself to experience them. She also asks me to seek out nourishing activities, such as going for a walk, taking a hot bath, or journaling. The last part of the homework involves paying close attention to my dreams over the next week until we meet again. I thought that this seems simple enough and we schedule the next appointment. 

My SE Homework! Ahhhh!