My Previous Therapeutic Experience |
Today is my first SE session with
Sherri! It is definitely different than most therapy I’ve tried to treat my depression.
Her office was beautiful and well-appointed and it even had a plant! Sherri
greets me with a warm smile and friendly disposition. I just feel like I am
making the right choice by giving SE a try the moment I walk into her office.
So, she starts the session by explaining SE to me. She says that this form of
therapy’s goal is to help regulate and restore balance to my nervous system. It
is to help me feel more alive. She explains that there is nothing wrong with me
and that the nervous system is just using its built in techniques to deal with
stress. Immediately, I feel better because I’ve thought there is something
wrong with me for years!
Hoberman's Sphere |
She shows me how the nervous system expands and
contracts with a Hoberman’s Sphere. In our systems there is a natural state of fluctuation and she says that we are going to do some work to assist my nervous
system in having more flexibility. I am excited at the thought of working with
my nervous system to support it in having more resilience to the stressors of
life. I’ll give anything a try at this point!
Sherri tells me about a couple new
concepts, such as orienting and tracking. She says that since the eyes are
closely related to the autonomic nervous system that we will use looking around
the room as a means to allow the body to settle and to access that part of my
system. She also explains how we are going to track the emotions and more
specifically the sensations in my body. She says that she is going to ask me
about those sensations. I tell her that I don’t really get what she means by
sensations. Then, as a demonstration, she asks me to touch the carpet and I
tell her that it feels smooth and soft. She says that sensations are similar to
that in the body. She asks me to then focus on my stomach and report what I
could sense. Now, I’ve never done this before, but when I turn my attention to
my stomach, I tell her that it feels tight and that there is some pressure
there. I guess I can feel sensations in my body!
As time passes I start to feel more
relaxed and then she asks me if I am ready to begin. I say “Yes! Let’s start.”
She is sitting in a chair in front of me and she asks me to just take a moment
to look around her office and asks me if there is anything in particular that
draws my attention. She let me know it is ok to let my eyes go where they want.
As I look around her office, I can feel my body calming down even more. My eyes
seem to fall on the beautiful blue color of a painting that she has on the
wall. She asks me what I see and I tell her what I am looking at. She then asks
if I can notice any sensations in my body. I tell her that I can feel a
tingling in my chest. She asks if I can just be with that for a little bit and
see what happens next. As I do my best to be present with the sensation, I
start to have thoughts and images arise. She asks me what I notice and I tell
her that I am thinking about my sister and there is a memory of a game that we
use to play. She told me to just stay with that and allow whatever comes up to
come up. As I do this, I feel some sadness start to arise and she asks me to
describe the sensations in my body. I tell her that I can feel lightness in my
upper chest and that the sadness seems to be more like joy or the feeling of
being touched. She asks if I can just be with that and continue to notice the
sensations.
As the session continues, I have a
memory come up of how a kid was mean to me during recess and pulled my hair.
Immediately anger, sadness, and fear starts to come up. She asks me if I could tell
a difference between the emotions in my body. Amazingly, when I really focus in
my body, I could tell that there is a difference between all those emotions in
my body. She asks which one I would like to focus on and I tell her the fear.
So, I let my body tremble and shake. After a little bit it starts to become intense. At the
point where I don’t think I can handle it anymore, Sherri asks
me if I can feel my feet and she directs me to look around the room to see
if I can notice the blue color on the painting. As I look at the blue in the
painting, I start to calm down and feel that love with my sister again. She
asks if I could just be with those sensations. Once again, I had fear, anger
and sadness come up out of the blue. She asks if she could put her feet next to
mine. Wow, I wouldn’t have guessed that someone’s feet next to mine would be so
comforting when I am upset. As she puts her feet next to mine, she asks if the
fear, anger, or sadness wants to say something. I tell her that it wants to say
“I hate you for pulling my hair.” She asks me to say it again and as I do I
feel a sense of empowerment. I do not think I have ever said “I hate you” out
loud, ever!
I feel accepted and embraced by Sherri |
As the session draws to a close she
gives me some SE homework and asks me to orient to pleasure. She explains that
when I feel those good sensations in the body to allow myself to experience
them. She also asks me to seek out nourishing activities,
such as going for a walk, taking a hot bath, or journaling. The last part of
the homework involves paying close attention to my dreams over the next week
until we meet again. I thought that this seems simple enough and we schedule
the next appointment.
My SE Homework! Ahhhh! |
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